today, for the first time in my life, because of some issues and discussions with some people i love, i said out loud that “i wish i go abroad like i go to hell, not see anybody, and you all do what you want without me.” from time to time i wanted to have a life there but this has never been so intense like this time. because today i felt like nobody cares what i say, even i do anything for the sake of their wellbeing. today i felt like the only person who loves me, unfortunately, left me so cruelly that i have to fight myself by myself only. because i can’t find her in any place of my life and have to bare this life, i just wanted to run away from everybody who does care me at all. either i want to reach her naturally or want to go away by burning the bridges. so tired of doing just for you to see while you are not with me! fed up all bullshits of people seriously. oh woman i miss you like hell, miss you through every cell of my life. why did you leave me in this hell that i am literally fed up?